Filling the Role Model Gap: Guiding Children Toward Positive Leadership in the VUCA World

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Welcome to Hattennoki's blog/article series! I am Jaspreet Sethi, the author and founder of Hattennoki, and I’m excited to share my thoughts on brain science, learning, and development with all of you.

Prologue

A 16-year-old scrolls through their phone late at night, captivated by a viral video of a young influencer who has just become an overnight sensation on social media. The video showcases a lifestyle - designer clothes, extravagant vacations, and endless fame - capturing the teen's attention. They feel a rush of excitement, thinking, "That’s the life I want."

The next morning, the teen’s teacher assigns an essay on leadership, asking the students to identify a role model who embodies qualities like kindness, responsibility, and hard work. The teen struggles to think of someone. Sure, the same influencers could be named, but none seem to exemplify the qualities described.

This moment represents a larger trend.

In today’s fast-paced, digital world - often referred to as the VUCA world (volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity) - children are increasingly exposed to a wide range of influences, many of which are superficial, fleeting, or negative. From social media influencers to celebrities, children are often presented with images of success that center around overnight sensations, materialism, fame, or controversy. However, the lack of genuine role models - individuals who embody positive values, responsibility, and integrity - has become a growing concern for parents, educators, and community leaders alike.

The absence of authentic role models has created a gap in how children view success, personal growth, and relationships. Many children now lack the opportunity to observe and learn from individuals who represent qualities such as perseverance, empathy, mindfulness, and responsibility. The decline of traditional role models - whether parents, teachers, community leaders, or historical figures - has led to an environment where children are more likely to mimic behaviors based on what is popular, rather than what is personally and socially constructive. This shift raises important questions: What makes a role model? and How can educators, parents, and communities work together to guide children toward positive leadership in the face of this challenge?

This article seeks to explore the importance of cultivating role models in the lives of children, highlighting how parents and educators can be the key to instilling qualities that will help children grow into responsible, empathetic, and confident leaders.

Here, I present a checklist of values and behaviors that parents, educators, and mentors can adopt to ensure they serve as positive role models and ignite leadership in young people.

The checklist is organized into key categories to guide grown-ups in modeling positive leadership behaviors for children. It begins by explaining why each behavior is important, followed by practical advice on how to implement it in everyday life. Picture This provides real-life scenarios to make the behavior tangible, while Literature for Littles suggests age-appropriate books to reinforce these values. For older children, Activities for Not-So-Littles offer hands-on opportunities to practice leadership skills. Finally, Objective, Instructions, and Relevance connects each behavior to the broader impact on personal growth and community well-being. This structure attempts to suggest a comprehensive, actionable approach to introduce positive leadership in young people.

The Role of Family and Educators as Role Models

While many factors contribute to shaping a child’s environment, one of the most influential is the example set by family and educators. Parents, grandparents, doctors, teachers, school counselors, and community leaders are often the first adults who children interact with in a structured environment. Each of these individuals holds the unique ability to shape not only cognitive or physical health outcomes but also the moral and ethical development of young people. The behaviors and values that parents model at home and educators model in the classroom can have a lasting impact on children’s perceptions of themselves and the world around them.

A grown-up who demonstrates integrity, responsibility, empathy, and respect can serve as an example for children to follow. However, these qualities are often absent from the media and public figures children are exposed to early, leading to a gap in their moral development. By fostering these traits in their own actions and interactions, parents and educators can fill this gap and provide children with concrete examples of how to live with purpose and empathy.

Checklist for Positive Role Models: Guiding Children Toward Leadership

The following checklist serves as a guide for educators, parents, and community leaders who aim to model positive behaviors and inspire the next generation of leaders. By embodying these principles, adults can ensure that they provide children with real-world examples of how to be kind, responsible, and effective leaders in their own right.

1. Model Good Hygiene and Cleanliness

• Why it matters: Children often imitate the behavior they see. Families and educators who prioritize personal hygiene and cleanliness teach children the importance of self-care and responsibility for their environment. These habits lead to healthier and more respectful communities.

• How to do it: Practice basic hygiene habits (e.g., washing hands before eating or after coming back from an outing, keeping personal and shared spaces tidy) and encourage children to follow suit. Teach the importance of environmental cleanliness and instill habits like recycling and reducing waste.

• Picture this: Imagine your child sees you wash your hands before breakfast, make your bed after waking up, or clean your desk before starting to work. Similarly, a teacher might have the children wash their hands after PE or tidy their desks after class, or a librarian might ask the students to return books to the shelves before leaving. When you point out how clean hands and a tidy space help us feel more organized, they’ll start doing the same - whether it's wiping down surfaces or organizing their books. Soon enough, they’ll be doing it without even being prompted. It will become second nature, like muscle memory.

• Literature for Littles: "The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room" by Stan and Jan Berenstain (Ages 3-7)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Cleanliness Campaign 

  • Objective: Encourage tweens and teens to take responsibility for cleanliness in their environment. 

  • Instructions: Organize a school or community cleanliness drive where students can work together to clean public spaces or organize events that promote eco-friendly and sustainable practices (e.g., zero-waste days). Tweens can create posters to raise awareness about personal cleanliness and share ideas for maintaining tidy spaces at home or school. 

  • Relevance: This activity teaches responsibility and emphasizes how individual actions can lead to a larger, collective impact on the community, instilling leadership through environmental care.

2. Respect the Environment

• Why it matters: As stewards of the Earth, it’s crucial for children to understand the long-term impact of their actions on the environment. Modeling respect for nature and sustainability helps children appreciate the importance of caring for the planet.

• How to do it: Encourage eco-friendly practices, such as reducing plastic use, conserving water, and promoting energy efficiency. Set an example by participating in community clean-ups or environmental projects.

• Picture this: Picture a family vacation. While walking on the beach, your child notices an empty plastic bottle and stops to pick it up, placing it in a trash can. You applaud their observation and effort and point out how keeping nature clean helps animals and plants stay healthy. They start looking for recycling bins everywhere and even remind you to bring reusable bags to stores. This moment highlights the need for more support from adults - whether by placing more bins strategically on roads or campuses or apartments or teaching others about waste segregation and management.

• Literature for Littles: "The Lorax" by Dr. Seuss (Ages 4-8)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Green Leadership Challenge 

  • Objective: Cultivate a sense of environmental leadership in tweens and teens by taking active steps to reduce their carbon footprint. 

  • Instructions: Have learners set personal sustainability goals (e.g., reducing plastic use, starting a recycling initiative, or organizing a local clean-up). They can track their progress over a month by utilizing data-handling and technology and share their experiences and results with the group. Older students can design eco-friendly projects or campaigns at school or in the community. 

  • Relevance: This activity helps older children not only to act sustainably but to take leadership roles in promoting these values to others, strengthening their sense of environmental responsibility.

3. Demonstrate Kindness and Respect Toward Others

• Why it matters: A lack of respect and kindness can lead to a toxic culture, especially among young people. Role models who demonstrate empathy, kindness, and respect teach children how to build healthy relationships and build a supportive community.

• How to do it: Show kindness in everyday interactions. Address conflicts with respect and encourage children to resolve disagreements peacefully. Praise acts of kindness, and encourage each other to be mindful of others’ feelings.

• Picture this: Imagine you're driving through heavy traffic in a busy city with your child in the backseat. A motorcyclist cuts you off, but instead of getting angry, you calmly smile and wave at him to be more careful as he apologizes with a hands-folded gesture. Your child asks why you didn’t honk or shout. You explain, “Sometimes people make mistakes. It’s important to stay calm and be kind. I don’t know what emergency this person might be facing. Patience and kindness help everyone get through tough situations more smoothly.” As the motorcyclist lets other cars merge, your child learns that small acts of respect and empathy can make a big difference, even in stressful situations.

• Literature for Littles: "How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids" by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer (Ages 4-8)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Kindness Bingo or Respect Campaign 

  • Objective: Encourage tweens and teens to practice kindness and respect in their everyday lives. 

  • Instructions: Create a “Kindness Bingo” where students are asked to perform one act of kindness each day (e.g., complimenting someone, sitting with a new classmate at lunch, helping their parents with chores, or grandparents with technology, or volunteering for a community event) and identify the same on their bingo board. Alternatively, a “Respect Campaign” could involve students creating posters or social media content promoting kindness and respect and demonstrating what respect looks and feels like. 

  • Relevance: This encourages students to actively practice empathy and respect, helping them see the impact of their actions on others while cultivating a sense of leadership by being role models for their peers.

4. Be Punctual and Respect Time

• Why it matters: Time management and respect for others’ time are essential life skills. Children who see adults managing their time effectively are more likely to adopt these behaviors themselves.

• How to do it: Model punctuality by being on time for meetings, classes, and appointments. Teach children how to set and manage priorities and respect deadlines.

• Picture this: The school has an annual function, and all the kids have rehearsed hard for their performances. On the day of the event, however, the program is delayed as everyone waits for the chief guest to arrive, not respecting the children who’ve worked so hard or the parents who are waiting. This lack of punctuality sends a message that the efforts of the children and the time of the parents is not valued, which can diminish the overall spirit of the event. Respecting everyone’s time is essential for cultivating a sense of appreciation and responsibility.

• Literature for Littles: "The Time Keeper" by Mitch Albom (Ages 12+)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Time Management and Responsibility Workshop 

  • Objective: Help tweens and teens develop the skills necessary to manage time and respect deadlines. 

  • Instructions: Host Hattennoki's executive functioning workshop where students learn about time management tools to create to-do lists, plan, and set reminders. Have students break down a project into smaller tasks or chunks and set realistic deadlines. They can also track their weekly routines and identify time-wasters or inefficiencies. 

  • Relevance: This activity promotes punctuality and time management, teaching students to value both their own time and the time of others, which is a key leadership skill.

5. Encourage Responsibility and Accountability

• Why it matters: Everyone must understand that their actions have consequences, both positive and negative. Role models who take responsibility for their actions, admit mistakes, and learn from them set the stage for children to adopt similar attitudes.

• How to do it: Hold yourself accountable and encourage children to take responsibility for their actions. Use mistakes as teaching moments, showing that growth comes from learning and improving.

• Picture this: Your child accidentally spills milk on the tablecloth. Instead of hiding it, they come to you and apologize, saying, "I’m sorry I spilled the milk. I’ll help clean it up!" You’re impressed by their honesty and maturity. In that moment, you can feel proud of your efforts as a parent. When your child feels safe enough to admit their mistakes and take responsibility, it shows that they’ve been taught the importance of doing what’s right and making things right. It's a reflection of the values of responsibility and accountability instilled in them.

• Literature for Littles: "What If Everybody Did That?" by Ellen Javernick (Ages 4-7)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Accountability Buddies Program 

  • Objective: Encourage responsibility by emphasizing peer accountability. 

  • Instructions: Pair up students as “accountability buddies” for a week or month. They can help each other stay on top of homework, meet deadlines, and complete tasks. At the end of each week, they can check in with each other to discuss any challenges they faced and how they can improve. You could extend this to group projects where students take collective responsibility for their work and hold each other accountable for the group’s success. 

  • Relevance: This activity teaches the importance of owning responsibilities, both individually and as a team, while building trust and support within peer groups.

6. Promote Inclusivity and Celebrate Diversity

• Why it matters: In a multicultural world, it’s important for children to see how diversity is a strength. Role models who embrace diversity and inclusivity help children appreciate different cultures, perspectives, and experiences.

• How to do it: Celebrate diverse cultures, viewpoints, and backgrounds. Create an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued, and address issues of discrimination when they arise.

• Picture this: You have a new staff member; during lunch, you notice they’re sitting alone. Instead of letting them feel isolated, you invite them to join you and you strike a conversation with them. This small act of kindness speaks volumes, showing children that inclusion matters. Through your gesture, they see the value of embracing others, regardless of their background. It’s a powerful reminder that every individual brings something unique to the table, and making space for everyone enriches the community.

• Literature for Littles: "The Colors of Us" by Karen Katz (Ages 3-7)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Cultural Awareness Fair or Diversity Dialogue 

  • Objective: Encourage respect for diversity and promote inclusivity. 

  • Instructions: Organize a “Cultural Awareness Fair” where students set up booths or presentations about different cultures, traditions, or histories. Students can share aspects like traditional foods, clothing, or music, and discuss how diversity enriches their community. Alternatively, hold a “Diversity Dialogue” session where students share personal stories or experiences of overcoming prejudice or discrimination. Facilitate discussions on how inclusivity helps create a more harmonious environment for everyone. 

  • Relevance: Celebrating diversity promotes inclusivity and helps students appreciate differences while learning leadership skills in fostering unity.

7. Embody Honesty and Integrity

• Why it matters: Integrity is the cornerstone of good leadership. Children must see adults making ethical choices, even when it’s difficult, to understand the importance of honesty in all areas of life.

• How to do it: Be transparent and honest in your actions and words. Practice ethical decision-making, and explain why integrity matters in both small and significant matters.

• Picture this: One day, your child finds a lost wallet on the ground. They come to your office, saying, "I think someone dropped this." As a school, you praise them publicly for their honesty and integrity, teaching everyone that doing the right thing doesn’t always feel easy, but it’s always worth it.

• Literature for Littles: "The Empty Pot" by Demi (Ages 5-8)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Integrity Role-Playing or Ethical Dilemma Debate 

  • Objective: Teach the importance of honesty and integrity through critical thinking and reflection. 

  • Instructions: Host a role-playing activity where students act out ethical dilemmas (e.g., what to do if they witness a peer cheating or if they find something valuable that isn’t theirs). After the role-playing, have a group discussion about the best course of action and why honesty and integrity matter in these situations. For a more competitive approach, organize an “Ethical Dilemma Debate,” where students argue for or against the ethical choices in given scenarios. 

  • Relevance: This encourages critical thinking and reinforces the importance of integrity, helping students understand how their actions impact themselves and others in real-life situations.

8. Encourage Continuous Learning and Growth

• Why it matters: In today’s world, learning doesn’t stop with formal education. A commitment to lifelong learning and self-improvement encourages children to embrace challenges and remain open to new ideas.

• How to do it: Continue your own learning journey and share that enthusiasm with children. Encourage curiosity and intellectual growth, both in and outside of the classroom.

• Picture this: Your child struggles with a math problem, but instead of giving up, they ask for help. Although you don’t know the solution right away, you take the time to research and patiently walk them through the steps as you figure out the process. The next time they face a challenging problem, they remember that it’s okay to ask for help and that persistence is key. Because you remained calm and showed zero frustration, they feel more confident in reaching out, persevering, and problem-solving on their own.

• Literature for Littles: "The Most Magnificent Thing" by Ashley Spires (Ages 4-7)

• Activities for Not-So-Littles (Tweens to Adolescents): Growth Mindset Projects or Lifelong Learning Challenge 

  • Objective: Develop a love for learning and resilience in the face of challenges. 

  • Instructions: Launch a “Growth Mindset Project” where students choose a new skill or subject they want to explore. Over the course of a few weeks, they research, practice, and reflect on their progress. You can incorporate a presentation at the end where students share their learning journey and the obstacles they overcame. Alternatively, start a “Lifelong Learning Challenge” where students set personal growth goals (e.g., read one book per month, learn a new language, or master a hobby), and track their progress through journals or digital logs. 

  • Relevance: By promoting continuous learning, this activity encourages tweens and adolescents to remain curious, embrace challenges, and see mistakes as opportunities for growth, all of which are foundational to good leadership.

Summary

In a world where traditional role models are becoming harder to find, the responsibility of educators, parents, and community leaders to step in and lead by example is more crucial than ever. By consciously adopting behaviors that promote empathy, responsibility, respect, and personal growth, adults can serve as the role models that children desperately need. The role model checklist outlined in this article provides a roadmap for becoming a positive influence in the lives of young people, guiding them toward leadership that is grounded in integrity, kindness, and responsibility.

Ultimately, the challenge we face today is not just about providing children with role models, but about ensuring that those role models are genuinely equipped to inspire the next generation. With intentional effort, we can guide young people toward a future where they, too, will become role models for those who come after them.

References

1. The Role of Educators in Shaping Moral Development

Larson, Robert H. "The Role of Teachers in Shaping the Character of Children." International Journal of Educational Leadership, vol. 5, no. 3, 2015, pp. 45-61.

2. The Importance of Modeling Kindness and Respect

Batson, M. L. "Kindness in Children: A Developmental Perspective." Journal of Child Development, vol. 82, no. 4, 2011, pp. 963-975.

3. The Importance of Role Models for Motivation and Inspiration

Whitbourne, Susan Krauss, Ph.D. "We All Need Role Models to Motivate and Inspire Us." Psychology Today, 19 Nov. 2013, www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201311/we-all-need-role-models-to-motivate-and-inspire-us. Accessed 17 Jan. 2025.

About the Author

Jaspreet has always been a deep thinker, a prolific writer, and a poet at heart. From an early age, she was drawn to the world of words, often expressing her thoughts and emotions through the written word. What started as personal journal entries, a safe space for her to process life’s complexities, has now evolved into published journals and thoughtful works that resonate with readers, audiences, and subscribers. Over the years, her writing has grown from intimate reflections into a powerful tool for sharing insights, sparking conversations, and inspiring others. The journey from those private musings to more formal publications is a testament to her growth as a person and her dedication to using words as a means of connection and expression.